Q10
by Shipp3r
Summary: From a tumblr prompt: Everyone at MI6 know James and Q are together and married but what no one knows is they have 10 kids. That is until James and Q don't come in to work for a week and Eve goes to see them and finds out about their kids.
1. Chapter 1

It was the sixth morning that neither of them had turned up for work. Admittedly, 007 was on leave after recently returning from overseas, and usually they turned a blind eye if Q happened to disappear around the same time. But six days was pushing it, and so Moneypenny had been sent by M to pull them away from one another and back to MI6.

"Q? Q, answer this door right now. And if Bond's there, he best come out too. I'll stay here all day, I'm not going back to HQ without at least one of you. Q, open this door you complete and utter-"

Moneypenny's incessant pounding on the door was cut off when it opened suddenly. The boy that now stood in front of her was certainly _not_ Q. Or Bond. He was tall, (tall enough that even Eve in her stilettos was forced to look up), olive-skinned and covered in some rather violent acne. The boy looked down at her with a surly, calculating expression, before standing aside and gesturing her indoors.

"You called Dad 'Q' so I guess you're from work? Come in. Try and be quiet though, he's crashed out on the sofa and I've only just settled Molly. She's a shit when she's ill. Father's in town, collecting the million prescriptions we've got going."

If it weren't for her training, Moneypenny would have gaped and stuttered out her reply. "Sorry, 'Dad'?! No offence kid, but you look nothing like Q. And he's gay. No, this is ridiculous. Where's Q, who are you working with?" Her hands strayed towards the gun holstered at her hip, but she stopped when the boy just rolled his eyes with a smirk.

"Try it. I bet I can reach mine first." He pulled aside the grotty band t-shirt to show the pistol shoved haphazardly into the waistband of his jeans. "Don't tell Dad, but Father never leaves me unprotected when he goes out." Laughing at the amazed expression on her face, the boy turned his back and headed towards the kitchen. "Coffee? You look like you need to sit down."

Eve just followed blindly. It was only as she sat down on a stool in the cluttered kitchen that she started to look around. The double doors of the silver fridge was covered in drawings of varying degrees of talent, letters with official-looking mastheads, certificates of different colours. The sink was full of plastic cups and plates, one cupboard had what looked like a jammy hand print on it, and there was a high chair shoved in a corner.

"Done looking around? Right. Uh, I'm Evan." The young man offered his hand to Moneypenny, who shook it, trying to bring herself back to reality. She was passed a chipped, but steaming, coffee mug next. She clung to it like a lifeline. "Dad and Father-that's Q and James, I guess-adopted me when I was eleven. Eight years ago, this March." He smiled winningly at Eve, who quickly began to see the traits Evan had picked up from each of his parents.

"Okay. Nice to meet you, Evan. I'm Eve. Who's Molly?", questioned Moneypenny, trying to regain some control over the situation.

Evan, however, just shook his head. "Let me do it in order or I'll never get through everyone. Uh, so after me they adopted Sophie. She was nine."

At that, a short girl with a hasty ponytail and tattered Converse leaned into the kitchen. "She was nine, and now she's very late for college. I'll see you later, Evan. Nice to meet you, woman-who-can-only-be-Eve. Ciao!" With a cheery wave, the girl grabbed a bottle of water from the counter and rushed out the room again.

"Sorry. It's a bit mad here today, what with the kids being ill." Evan shrugged after waving to his sister. "So that's Sophie, seventeen now. Then there's Mark and Steve, the twins. Fifteen. They're at boarding school right now with Lily, she's fourteen, and Oscar. Oscar's the first one who's from a surrogate-he's biologically Dad's. Then Alfie and Alisha, they're both Father's…ten and eight. R is Father's as well, and finally Molly is Dad's." With an exaggerated deep breath, Evan grinned, looking back at Eve. "Do you want it written down? Most people do."

Moneypenny just shook her head slowly, looking dazed. "I never thought 007, of all people, would have a flat full of kids. And Q…well, we all had bets that he was some sort of crazy cat man."

At that, Evan let out a laugh. "Uh, no. Dad's, like, deathly allergic to cats. Lily takes it as a personal insult that she's never been allowed a kitten." He paused to yawn, then grimaced. "Sorry. Like I said, it's mad here. I'm on holiday thank God, otherwise they'd never be able to cope."

He was interrupted by a voice from behind the pair. "That's far from the truth. You're usually the one getting in the way." Bond smiled at his son-the term was odd in Eve's mind-as he walked into the kitchen. Resting one hand on the boy's shoulder, he held out his other, palm flat. Evan rolled his eyes but pulled the gun casually from his waistband and placed it in Bond's hand. Apart from that small interaction Evan ignored James, continuing to talk to Eve.

"Yeah, so I'm on holiday until next week. Molly got chicken pox, R caught it from her, and Alisha from him. Alfie broke his ankle and wrist a fortnight ago, so he's stuck here in the plague house too." Looking up at his father, Evan spoke quickly. "Dad's asleep on the sofa, has been for about twenty minutes. Molly's only just gone down-in your bed though, sorry. Alfie's in the front room with his DS and toolkit, Alisha and R are both dead to the world still, but R's temperature is up again."

Bond's eyes softened as he listened to his son's matter-of-fact tone, nodding when expected. Eve pretended not to notice, though she couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her lips. "Why 'R'?", she asked, the first of many questions all jostling for space in her mind.

Bond answered this time, pouring himself a coffee and sitting across from her. "Once he realised his Dad is called Q, he refused to be called by his full name-Reece. Said we had to call him R so he can be just like his Dad." With another fond smile (and Eve was sure parenting was meant to add years to people but James had never looked as young and fulfilled as he did while discussing his children) he added, "Surprising really, as he's biologically mine. Yet somehow he's the most like Q. At the moment, anyway."

Evan laughed, gesturing out the door. "Yeah, and the smartarse ten year old out there who broke three bones trying to protect his baby sister is the most like you."

The laughter passed on to the two adults when a quiet but determined voice called back "Oi! I heard that! The other kids look worse than this!"

Eve's eyes twinkled as she looked at Bond. "He really does sound like you. All you double-ohs, actually. 'You should have seen the other guy.'" She pulled out her phone and began typing. "I'm telling M there's no one here. You have _maybe_ three days before one of you has to make an appearance at HQ, at least." She put her phone back in her bag and stood, almost breaking into giggles at the near identical expressions of confusion masked behind overconfidence she was greeted with. She reached to shake Evan's hand, and then kissed Bond's cheek.

"I'll come back tonight. With pizza. I want to meet the rest of your kids, James, and frankly I'm pissed you've never mentioned them before. Good morning, boys." With a nod and a smirk, she turned smartly on her heel and left the room.

Evan turned to look at his father. "Jesus, how did you turn gay when you were working with _her_ every day?!" Bond just smacked him around the back of the head and walked into the front room to check on his sleeping brood.

**Please R&R! And leave ideas for me to write-I really want to return to these kids.**


	2. Chapter 2

That evening, it was a sleepy looking Q who pulled the door open. On his hip he was holding a young girl, with startling red hair pulled up in two uneven bunches. The girl's eyes widened at the sight of a stranger at the door, and she nuzzled frantically into Q's bony shoulder. He just smiled at Eve, stepping back for her to enter the flat, then turned his head to mutter to the girl.

"Hey, Molly. Are you not going to say hello to Eve? She's Daddy's friend. And Father's. And I bet she'd be your friend too, hmm?"

The girl just shook her head furiously and Q tutted, but turned back to Moneypenny, pushing the front door closed with his foot. "Sorry. Good evening. I apologise for earlier, Evan should have woken me. This-", he gestured towards the child with his chin, "-is Molly. She's being silly. Not good with new people, takes after her dad."

Kicking her shoes off, Eve just smiled. "It's fine. Evening. How is everyone? Feeling any better?" She reached out to stroke the back of her finger over Molly's arm where she clung to Q, but the young girl jerked out of the way and glared at Eve. Glared with large, intelligent green eyes and a full, dark pout. Eve laughed, looking back to Q. "She looks like you. Apart from the hair, perhaps. But I've seen you give that death stare many times."

Q just rolled his eyes, walking into the kitchen and putting Molly gently onto the floor. She quickly stood up, glared at Moneypenny again (though less severely this time), and wandered off unsteadily in the direction of the front room. Q watched her go, then turned back to Eve. "You look like you've got questions. Do you want a drink? More importantly, will I need one?"

Seating herself at the kitchen table, already relaxed in the relatively new environment, Eve rolled her shoulder. "Just tea, thanks. And what takeaway menus do you have? I seem to remember promising 007 pizza earlier."

At that, Evan entered the kitchen, smiling warmly at Eve in lieu of a greeting. He was dressed in fresh jeans and a shirt, and looked passably smart. For a university student, at least. "She did. I don't think Father will let her forget it, either." With a yawn, he looked to Q before continuing. "I'm off to Will's. I'll be back by twelve, unless I kip on his sofa. I'll text you. Don't wait up, either."

Smiling easily up at his son, Q nodded. "Go! Get some peace while you can. But do text me. See you in the morning."

With a bellowed "See you later!" which was echoed back at him from throughout the flat, and a more civilised "It was nice meeting you again." to Eve, Evan walked out with a casual wave. As soon as they heard the door slam, Q looked to her with a reproachful look in his eyes. There was an amused glint there too, though, and he couldn't completely hide his grin.

"Stop flirting with my son. We've told them all, don't go near anyone at MI6. Plus you're at least twenty years older than him."  
Eve just gasped as if horrified. "Twenty years! Rude. No crap food for you, young Quartermaster. Now where's your husband and the rest of the kids?"

Chuckling, Q handed her a mug and gestured to some closed double doors. "Through here. Be warned, they get rather excitable when James is home. Especially so if we're both here at the same time." His relaxed shrug hid a slight undertone of regret, and Moneypenny privately decided to ensure the mens' scheduled leave lined up far more often. 

They entered into a scene of absolute chaos.

Bond was sat on the floor, with Molly sat in his lap. She was holding two dolls and had another on the floor in front of her. She seemed to be having an in-depth conversation with the three of them, her hair bobbing as she gestured wildly. Bond's arms were wrapped around her, holding an Xbox controller as he tried in vain to defeat the other players onscreen and also avoid Molly's occasionally flailing arms.

Sat next to the agent was a boy with blond hair and Iron Man pyjamas. His stance was eerily similar to James'-straight back, outstretched legs-but his expression was far more focused. Eve spotted his tongue poking out very slightly at the corner of his mouth as he began to lean forward towards the TV, a quirk she had also noticed in Q when he was working on a particularly challenging project.

"No, no, no! R, what are you_ doing?!_ The girls are gonna thrash you! And they're _girls!_ You're meant to be the best, come on R!"

The shout came from the boy in the armchair. Sat with one leg propped up on a dining room chair, and one arm in a sling, the boy shouted and yelled both encouragement and insults to the room in general. From the twitching of his uninjured hand, it was blatant just how desperate he was to join in the game. This must be Alfie, Eve realised, the brother who had gotten hurt in a fight. She smiled at him but was ignored, absorbed as he was in watching the action on the screen.

On the sofa sat two girls. Sophie had her legs crossed and was dressed in a large hoodie and ripped leggings. Her hands moved furiously on the controller, and her yelling rivalled Alfie's both in volume and enthusiasm. Her entire body moved as she raced, turning corners in time with her car, leaning forwards as she accelerated. "We're gonna beat you! You're gonna get beaten by a pair of_ girls_! Oof, that wasn't fair, R. Come on come on_ come on!_ Help me out a little, Alisha."

The second, younger girl just broke down into giggles at her sister's shouting and constant movement. Her curtain of white-blonde hair fell in front of her face as she snorted, her car onscreen coming to a complete halt, her various metal bangles adding to the noise in the room as she shook with laughter. Eve almost felt like joining her-the entire situation felt so surreal. She could only imagine how manic the house was when all of Bond's and Q's children were home.

"You know", she began casually, "we always wondered how you were so efficient at handling the double-ohs. I suppose this explains it. They're just like children, after all."

Q smiled, and gestured back to the kitchen. He didn't want to disturb the occupants of the front room; after all, this was the closest to calm his home ever got, these days.

**I just couldn't leave this family alone, oops! And there's still four kids left that we've not met!**

**Please R&R :3**


	3. Chapter 3

**I can't leave this family alone! This chapter was prompted by a tumblr anon, I'll start on the suggestions left here eventually :)**

Sipping his steaming tea, Q smiled. He was content, in a melancholic sort of way. He currently had some time to himself between observing agents, time which conveniently matched up with the evening free time at Broad Oaks boarding school. And if that pleasant coincidence had perhaps been manipulated by a genius Quartermaster, who could blame him?

Currently, there were four people jostling for attention on the screen in Q's office.

Oscar, a dark haired boy of 13, had somehow won against his older siblings and was sitting directly in front of the camera on a computer chair. He was constantly forced to push his glasses up his nose, absorbed in watching his older brothers' enthusiastic movements. The twins, Mark and Steve, never could sit still. They were currently miming a particularly violent rugby tackle that had occurred in their last match. Unaware, of course, that Q and James had pored over the video footage already, in a vague attempt to make up for missing yet another game. (They were a formidable pair against any team, and reminded Q of his husband and husband's best friend in a way which was almost painful.)

He interrupted them as soon as he spotted an opportunity. "Looks like you did well again, boys. Now where's my Flower gone, hmm?"

Lily was the last person in the call. She was perched on a stool next to Oscar last time Q looked, but had now disappeared out of shot.

"Gone to get her phone!", Oscar whispered in a sing-song voice. "She got a text from her booooyfriend!"

Q raised an eyebrow at that, placing his finger against his lips as a sign for his young son to be quiet. He winked conspiratorially, though.

"Don't call me 'flower', Dad. It's so embarrassing." Lily was determined to be a 'real' teenager, complete with hair flips and eye-rolls, ever since she'd celebrated her fourteenth birthday. Her blush gave her away, though, as did the shy smile she couldn't shake as she read her texts.

"But you are my little Lily flower!", Q replied with a smirk. He suddenly found himself missing the girl, and all his other children for that matter. It had been three days since he'd seen the youngest of them-he wasn't arriving home until they were fast asleep. Pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around his legs, he smiled at the camera. "Tell me about him, Lil'. Kick your brothers out the room."

August. A month of relaxation, for most students and parents alike. Certainly not in the Bond-Holmes household. With all ten children at home, peace was a foreign concept. There were tantrums, practical jokes, arguments and laughs filling the flat at all hours.

And tonight-well. Bond was on the warpath.

As many of the children as were allowed had left. Everyone else wished they could. Tonight, Lily's boyfriend was visiting, collecting her for a cinema date. More importantly, he was meeting her parents for the first time.

Her secret agent, armed-and-dangerous parents.

Q couldn't help but laugh as Bond prowled the hall, waiting for the doorbell to ring. He'd already flat out refused to let his daughter leave the house in two of the dresses she tried on, and was only allowing the skirt and top combo due to combined pleas from Lily and Q for him to "Chill, Father!" and "Calm down, James".

When the doorbell eventually rang, he whipped his head towards the door like a shark scenting blood. While Q tried (unsuccessfully) not to snort, James plastered his most intimidating expression onto his face, and walked towards the door. When he pulled it open, the young boy in the hallway visibly stepped backwards, and Q decided to intervene.

Stepping forward, he offered his hand. "Evening. I'm Lily's Dad, and this is her Father."

Smoothly, James stepped forward, also shaking the boy's hand. His expression had had lesser men shaking and confessing all manner of secrets, in the past. This fifteen year old, however, simply cleared his throat and returned with a strong handshake. "It's nice to meet you both. I-I'm Sebastian. Is Lily ready?"

Peeking her head around the corner, Lily smiled sweetly at the boy. She stepped into the hall-Sebastian's eyes widened, and Bond cleared his throat in a blatant threat-and walked towards them.

"Night, Dad. Father. Stop bullying Seb. I'll be back by ten." She kissed both of their cheeks and stepped hurriedly out of the door before either man could argue. Sebastian smiled at Q, smiled less confidently at Bond, and left with the girl.

Q closed the door, and leaned back against it, eyebrow raised at his husband. "That went well." James just let out a sigh, shuffling forward to bury his face in Q's neck. The brunette just laughed, arms wrapping around his partner.

"I like him", James muttered against Q's skin.

With a tut and a fond smile, Q replied, "No, you like that you convinced Evan and Sophie to hide in the cinema and spy on them for you."

James leaned back, pecked Q's lips, and said with a scowl, "Yes, and I'll continue that tradition unless they're married. At _least_."


End file.
